Growing up, the biggest complaint I ever had from my teachers was that I was a chatterbox. In 5th grade, I spent an entire quarter earning "Grecko Bucks" to buy a "free table pass". This allowed one to sit where ever they chose. I worked the system, and ended up having the raddest table ever- even by standards today. They were seriously fun people! Anyway, I got moved in two days. TWO DAYS! Why? Too chatty.
Down the years- stay in from recess. Why?
Too chatty.
Extra homework. Why?
Too chatty.
Loss of privileges, notes, calls home, detentions. Why.
Too darn chatty.
As I'm seeing Hazen grow up, and develop his little personality, I see a lot of myself in him. This pleases me to no end, because he looks exactly like Jason, so I need to have SOME sort of representation in my child! He is goofy. He loves to laugh- he loves attention, and positive reinforcement (or so I imagine, because who doesn't??). He loves to smile, and he absolutely loves interaction with others. We have so many "special" little things that we do together- we GET each other. With that said:
The other night, I sat down, and had a chat with him while he bit my face and did the "baby hump", which consists of him laying on my chest, and bouncing up and down. I love it- it's cute. In this chat, I warned him, "Hazen, in your life, you're going to have a lot of people telling you that you're too social, and that you talk too much." He looked at me, laughed, and gave me a head butt. I continued, "As long as you're not being disrespectful, which I fully intend on teaching you NOT to be, I encourage your self-expression." At this point, he tried to give me an open-mouth kiss, which I gently reminded him was not traditionally socially acceptable. "Now Hazen, you would never believe how many people tried to tell your Mama that she needed to hush up, and thought that she had ADD, and all sorts of other problems, just because she was friendly." He was sad at this point, so he gave me a hug of consolation. As my Sweet sat on my lap and I'M SURE soaked in everything, I told him how proud I am of him, and how I want him to feel free to be who he is. Let me deal with those teachers.
I'm glad that I had a strong enough personality not to let RELENTLESS badgering year after year trying to be something that I wasn't. I thrive on human interaction, always have, always will. Maybe it got in the way of the times table (never quite got Geometry, either), but guess what? I turned out ok, and so will he.
Friday, June 6, 2008
So I've been thinking...Pt. 3
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21 comments:
That is so freaking cute. It reminds me, you should make all of his teachers read the book "Why Gender Matters" by Leonard Sax, and you should read it too. It's amazing.
Ha, I always got the same complaints. Too chatty.
P.S. You can email me at j4atkinson@gmail.com :)
I love, love, love, love this! I was constantly in trouble for talking too much, and now...my 2 ten year olds are going through the same thing. I told them they would NEVER get in trouble with me as long as they were not being disrespectful. This is just who they are, and I love that they are so social and don't have problems talking to people or making friends.
and let me just be the devil's advocate here... but there are things called RULES and they are to be FOLLOWED, particularly in the CLASSROOM. and if the teacher says NO TALKING, then the student should obey... even if said student is social and outgoing.
rest assured, i tend to be a bit talkative and outspoken myself. it's just fun to stir up controversy. especially on this blog of yours. besides, what kind of teacher would i be if i didn't nag about rules?
ps
for the record, you should ALWAYS support the teacher in front of the child. if you have a beef, take it up privately, sans student. because once your kid senses you don't support their teacher's choice, that teacher has lost all ability to teach him. or her. and in the big picture, that's what they're in there for- to learn some academics.
do you still love me?
I loved that you had a little heart to heart with Hal. So cute.
I remember being hated several times for being chatty. Do you remember when we made Sis. Waddel cry? Or what about the couple that moved out of our ward so they didn't have to teach the "loud class?" Church was WAY more fun back then.
Andrea- Yeah, you're still alright. I guess. :o)
Good points, although I found in my experience there were many a tactless teacher telling me I was a "bad kid" because I had plenty to say.
We love you even more because you were Chatty Annee!!!
We love you even more because you were Chatty Annee!!!
You did NOT turn out ok....you turned out GREAT!! And so will Hazen! After all, he's got 2 Great Parents to help him along his way.
I love teaching. The best way I have found to solve chatty problems (or other problems, for that matter) is to bring it up and talk about it with teacher, parent(s), AND the student all at the same time. Students usually know they talk too much, and by setting goals as a team, they feel more responsible and mature to talk only at appropriate times. Kids are good. Yes, there need to be consequences for misbehavior, but first there should be genuine love and clear rules. It is easier to obey a rule, if students know what the rules are. Keeping on telling them not to talk so much isn't very effective.
Everytime I got a progress report from any teacher growing up they all said something like "Tristan is very bright. She never shuts up. She is VERY social! Needs to talk a lot less!"
My four-year old never shuts up. I think it was a curse put on me from my teachers and my parents.
Hazen is such a cute happy boy! We need pictures of the "Baby hump" game!
Okay, you got to help me get set up on google reader! I have missed so many posts. Baby Boy is growing like a weed.
You are still very chatty and I love it!
I think if you chatted in Russian people might be more understanding. It is such a beautiful language. Also where is the 10k? I have been searching everywhere for one close by. I want to do it!
I've always loved that your a chatter box, and I'm glad that Hazen is just like you. I was always shy as a child, the one who never talked in class because I was afraid of getting in trouble. I hope Kate doesn't take after me. You really are a great mom! I'd love to do a trip to Bear Lake, just let me know when.
I had Mrs. GREKO too! I wish i still had some bucks. I'm sure they've appreciated.
Switched my blog to private. Email me at spamgoblin@yahoo so I can invite you.
Aw i love this. I have been away from your blog far too long! I've always been obnoxiously chatty and so this post made me feel a tad better about my annoying self! You're a rockin cool girl and YOU'RE chatty! ;)
I feel what you mean about your kid looking like your hubby and it makes you happy to no end that his personality refelects you! Nicci looks just like Seth BUT she has my attitude. I've really eaten it up...until the night she said the word "dumb-a". Yeah. Much self reflection was needed.
My oldest kid always got busted for talking. In middle school, one of his teacher's called him "circus boy." Luckily, he's smart and charming too.
If any teacher is too cranky about the talking, tell him/her that there must be something wrong with the teaching. I chatted a lot in classes in which I was bored.
Obviously chatting is a sign of genius- the kid can handle learning and talking.
And this is why I give you the "BEST MOMMY OF THE DAY AWARD!" You are too cute, I hope I can have these types of chats with my little ones someday! :)
Same problem for me (and my husband...he got put by the Asian girl who never talked so he would shut up...and he just continued talking at her--we have LOTS of late nights talking!)and sometimes I want to zip my mouth shut when I realize I'm monopolizing.
But it sure makes for fun bloggers, right?
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