Sunday, August 8, 2010

A Letter to Boy

Dear Hazen,

Today is your third birthday. I can't help but get awfully nostalgic at this time of year as I reflect on what was taking place three years ago. It was so scary, so new, and so uncertain. However, I wouldn't change it for the world. I believe that our experiences together three short years ago have caused our love to be even deeper than it might be otherwise.

Hazen, you are the center of my universe. I wish that I had infinite words to express how much, how DEARLY I love you. Sometimes, I think about how incredible you are, and how much you mean to me, and it causes tears to roll down my face. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I could care so much about someone. You make me so, so happy. I feel like in the past few months, you and I have really hit our stride, and we have so much fun together. You are my little buddy, and I love love love hanging out with you.

You melt my heart on average about 5 billion times a day. There is nothing that means more to me than having your slightly sticky little hands cup my face and tell me that you love me. I love when you run to me and ask for a big hug and a kiss. Sometimes, when I'm sitting on the couch, you'll come and sit next to me, and wraps your little skinny bones jones arms around my waist and put your head on my shoulder. I'm guilty of putting you to bed late more than once because you want to lay on the couch and snuggle with me. There is nothing in this entire planet that could put a price on that.

Recently, at Costco, someone approached me and told me that they loved the rapport that you and I share. He said that it was evident the strong connection and bond that we share, and he said it's easy to see that I love you very much and that you know it. I will work so hard for the rest of my life to ensure that our relationship remains that way. Hazen, I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father that he allowed you to stay here on earth and live your life. I am even more grateful that I have been allowed to be your Mama. You are so smart, and funny, and strong. I can't wait to be your Mommy until the end of time. It is truly my pleasure. You enhance the lives of all those you touch. You make my life so much more worth living. I will love you until the ends of the world and spend the rest of my days making sure that you know it.

Friday, August 6, 2010


Please allow me to diverge from the travelogue that my blog has turned into to talk for a few minutes about something new that Jason and I have joined. Rather, I feel it's more accurate to say that it's a new journey that we've embarked on together, because one can't expect to get to a lifelong destination overnight.

Jason and I were introduced to Crossfit about a year ago. We would do the workouts with PGFD a few times a week, but it was unpredictable at best. I really enjoyed the intensity of the workouts, though, and I missed it when we stopped doing them. Finally, May 3rd, we decided that it was high time we make a major lifestyle change.

Crossfit is an exercise modality that employees highly varied, functional movement. The training is insanely intense, but I've seen more results in 3 months of Crossfit than I have in my entire previous life of physical training. The trainers at Viking Crossfit are seriously amazing. Previously, Jason and I were paying $90/month for 3 half-hour sessions at Gold's. I wish I had that money back, because it was crap. When I'm there, I feel safe, because I know that they trainers are so devoted to ensuring that I have proper form and the tools necessary to learn how to perform the WODs so that I don't injure myself.

On a physical level, I've lost over 5 1/2 inches from my hips, 4 inches from my waist, and am down about 9 lbs. I haven't been super intense about my diet, so I know once I'm done with school and become a little more devoted in that realm, I'll see a lot more progress. The amount of muscle I've gained is seriously unreal. I'm leaning up, and I just feel and look better in my clothes!

On a mental level, no amount of money can compensate for that Crossfit has done for me. There have been numerous workouts when I have sweat dripping down my body, my heart is pounding, and tears are in my eyes, because I just WANT to push myself harder. It's during those times that the trainers and fellow gym members rally around me, and I realize that I DO possess what I need to dip deeper, and I complete the workout. It's really difficult to explain the exhilaration that overcomes your entire body when you realize that you're going to be able to lift a little heavier than you did last time, run a little faster, and recover with a little less time spent panting on the floor.

I feel incredible. I AM incredible. I can do things that I never thought I could. I am strong, I am capable, and I, frankly put, am awesome. Crossfit is life-changing. I know that sounds silly, but it really is. I used to hate exercising, but now, if a day passes that I miss a workout, I miss it! I love the feeling of aching muscles that I constantly have, and I crave trying to achieve new physical benchmarks.

For the first time in my life, I am exercising not to necessarily lose weight. That has been an awesome byproduct, but I am exercising for my health. I am doing this to become stronger, and to be a more present, capable mom and nurse. It's incredible how things change when your reasoning behind your actions change, as well. Thank you, Crossfit for being such a wonderful presence in my life!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Who wants Fried Chicken?

A few weeks ago, Jenn from the gym invited a few of us over to her house for a very Zone-Friendly meal of Fried Chicken. Jenn is from the south, so she seriously doesn't mess around. It was delicious! Jason had to work, which was a bummer, because he definitely would have enjoyed it!

It's so much fun belonging to a gym of such great people. Not only do they see me at my literal worst, they have become such good friends. I'm so excited for school to be over so I can commit more time to doing fun things like Chicken Frys!!!!

Happy Birthday for Jason!!!!

Hazen loves to sing "Happy Birthday" all the time. It is absolutely darling! When he sings it, though, it goes a little like this:

Happy to You
Happy to You
Happy Birtday for Hazennnnn
Happy to You!

Well, we had occasion to sing this very song last week to our dear sweet Daddy. Jason turned the dirty 30!!! I feel so bad, because he wasn't able to really celebrate it as much as he might have otherwise, but school is quickly coming to a close, so our calendars can barely find time for us to sleep, so finding some ample time to party is a little difficult. We were able to get together with some friends for Carne Asada and cake. I love Jason so much. He is so amazing, and is such an incredible father to Hazen, and such an unbelievable husband. I don't deserve him, but I am so grateful to be married to the man of my dreams. I love you, sweetie. I am so happy that I get to be with you while you turn 30, I look forward to 30x30 more birthdays together.

If there is one thing that we don't do nearly enough, it's going up the canyon. I am so blessed to live in such a gorgeous place, and I recognize fully that I take it for granted. Thankfully, Heather is so good about trying to go up often. We were the lucky recipients of a jaunt up AF Canyon, and it was so much fun! We roasted hot dogs and smores, and the kids played in the dirt and stream. I hope that we can make the time to go up the canyon another time or two before the summer is over, because it is beautiful and too close to not take advantage of!