Vague post on vague information

I promise updates, so I guess that I have to follow through. The tone of this post is probably going to be more upbeat, although, the information is exponentially worse.

Remember the time that I complained because no one knew anything? I think the unknown is a whole lot less of a biatch than the truth. So, they got the placental report back. I guess that it's standard for premies. There were a lot of strange things on it, so Dr. Gerday, the stuttering (but really really really good) French guy made an appointment with me at 5 to discuss some of the findings. I walked in there, and immediately, 3 drs, 2 respiratory therapist, and 2 nurses all pulled up chairs next to me. My first cause for concern and alarm.

He informed me that there were 2 main problems with the placenta. 1- a good portion of it had died. So, in reality, if they hadn't of taken the baby when they did, he would have died for sure. Now the bad news. 2- There were large calcium deposits located throughout the placenta. This is really rare in such premature babies, and the calcium deposits, combined with the seizures and his lethargy gives them extremely valid reason to believe that my sweet baby will have lasting brain damage. We won't know until the end of the week the extent or severity, but this was like a slap in the face.

In good news, the Dr did tell me that his life wasn't in jeapordy, but I never ever ever imagined that I'd be faced with the very possible reality that I'd be taking home a handicapped baby. I still love him desperately, and I still count down the days until I can take him home, but I just can't believe how much life keeps on crapping on us. Let's all pray that the MRI shows little to no damage, and that he can lead a relatively normal life. I love my little boy, and I know all you do too, I can feel it in your sweet, loving comments. You have no clue how much they sustain me.

In other news, lets have a shoutout to the Greenan sisters. In the words of Paige on my sister's blog, they are now our "I deal with family dysfunction with vicious humor" sisters. I will say, that I must be the favorite Hazen however, because I'm pretty sure that ALL of the Greenan sisters commented on my last blog, except for Camille, but good ole Pam "jumped the shark" when she had her, so I guess I'm not missing much! :o)

Here's to a better day tomorrow, because seriously, life has GOT to throw us a bone at some point. I'll let you know what we find out as soon as we get the MRI back. And as soon as I actually understand this better.