A little bit of a pity party

So, I know that my pity party will most likely result in a snotty comment from Heather, although, I do implore her to remember that I never made THAT much fun of her while she was having her pregnancy pity parties, but oh well! Please take note that this is in no way, size, shape, or form an attempt to fish for compliments, but merely a chance to talk about how I'm feeling. That is why we blog right? To share everything with the public as opposed to keeping it a little more private in our journals?? :o)

I was grossly dissallusioned as to what pregnancy entailed when I done and got knocked up. I imagined that I was going to be one of "those girls" who dressed really super cute, got a bump that just protruded from belly, only got mildly sick, and had the "lustrious hair and skin" that those piece of crap magazines rave and rave about. WRONG. Having lost ten lbs before I got pregnant, I was feeling pretty good that the weight thing was going to be too ridiculous. WRONG. In my first Trimester, the only stupid thing I could keep down was Subway sandwiches and fast food. Not great for your figure. However, I'm not going to sit and complain about weight that I've gained (40 lbs....no, I'm not kidding), because I know I'm a hard worker, and I will do what it takes to get back to me. I'm more sad about other things. Like my big huge swollen face. Or the random bumps/acne-like WHAT-THE-HECKS that have taken up residence on my face and chest. Last week, I looked in the mirror, and burst into tears. My nose is huge, and I almost don't recognize the person that looks back. Seriously. I don't look like the same person! Yesterday, in the hospital, to try to illustrate to the nurse that the swelling in my face isn't just some random fat chick trying to complain, I pulled out a pre-pregnancy picture from my wallet. She gasped, exclaimed, "You were gorgeous!!!!" and then thanked me for showing her the picture because no, the way I look is not normal. (Seriously, she was really nice and tactful about it). This is my pity party, so dang it, I can say what I want, but yesterday, I decided that maybe I would go buy some cover-up or other makeup to try to fix my face. Enter tears. I have never once in my life had the need for cover-up. I dont' know HOW to buy it. I don't want to look like some ridiculous clown face, but honey, something's gotta be better than this!!

Could I sound more vain? No. However, I will tell you that this pregnancy has been a major break-through to the STUPID self-loathing I had done in the past. I WAS A BABE!!! I know, the grass is always greener, but seriously, wow.

Ok, I'm done pitying. So, if we go out somewhere, don't look at me and say, man, she's really let herself go. Because I haven't. I'M TRYING, but my body is NOT complying. I promise I will never judge another pregnant lady ever again. The end.