Wednesday, March 12, 2008

So I've been thinking....

Jason hates this phrase. Probably because most times that it comes out of my mouth, it indicates some sort of life change that I'm proposing. This isn't so much a life change, but just some sort of musing done by me. You don't have to read it, but I don't really care, because this is, as you know, "A Day in the Life of Anne Lee".

Once again, I just received a phone call from the Gold's Daycare trying to inform Annelee that there was a meeting tonight. I just might make an announcement telling people to REALLY stop calling me Ann. Or REALLY stop slurring my name together. It drives me crazier than you will ever know.

I've also come across so many blogs recently that have really caused me to think. More than one baby have I seen that passed away after just about the same amount of time in the NICU that Hazen spent. Each of these accounts brings me to tears, and makes me hug my baby tighter than the time before. I am so grateful for our sweet miracle. I was reading a book the other night that talked about people's overuse of the term "miracle". While this might be true, Hazen Alma Lee is a true miracle. I am so humbled each and every time I see his sweet smile, or hear his laugh, as I remember the day we were surrounded by Dr's and Nurses who told us that we were probably going to have a child with severe brain damage. While he is still not completely out of the woods, his sweet demeanor and amazing personality make every challenge that we've had so worth it. He has taught me so much, and I know that he will continue to do so. I just got a new calling as Relief Society teacher, and I was looking forward to lessons that I will be teaching in the next few months. In July, 10 days before Hazen's birthday, I will be teaching a lesson about obtaining comfort when we lose a loved one, specifically a child. I couldn't help but feel very emotional as I was reading, but also so humbled and grateful. I know our Heavenly Father loves all of us, and I'm so grateful that he felt that Jason and I were worthy to raise such a special soul like Hazen.

Heather was over at the home of one of her friends last night. This friend is a new blogger, and Heather was telling her how everyone does blogging for different reasons. She mentioned that I was blogging to give people the perspective of a young married woman and a new mom. I was so flattered to know that someone is reading my blog who might not be in the same place as I am, and might learn a little something. I know that I learn a lot from the blogs that I read. Heather, for example, has taught me that while there might not always be "beauty in the home", we still need to embrace the chaos that life is sometimes made of. The other night, Abbie was very frustrated looking for a book, and Heather quietly pulled her aside, and used a quick moment to remind her of having "joy in the journey". Sometimes the journey between point A and B might not be very enjoyable, but if we change our attitude, we can find beauty in the simple things. Life is all about perspective. All too often, I find people constantly talking about annoying things, or complaining about stupid things: sometimes, I am one of them, but at the end of the day, I am so blessed!

I was at work last night, and one of the workers mentioned a rich lady who had just dropped off her kids. She was talking about the HUGE house that she lives in, and the nice cars that she drives, and her big giant diamond ring. I found myself saying, "Must be nice." I'm pleased with myself that I immediately corrected myself with, "No, I have a good life too, but that's really neat that she has such nice things". Why do we get so caught up with having "MORE"? Why can't we just find joy in the journey, and be content with the things we have? I can't imagine how bad it makes Jason feel if I talk about how "I want a house". He's doing everything he can to give me so many wonderful things, and I will forever be grateful to him. There have been recent experiences that I've had that have taught me the infinite importance of living within our means. Dearest Jason, thank you so much for teaching me better how to do so. I know that it will be a battle we will long wage, but we're trying!

So, if there's anything that I can give you, from my mind to yours, is this: Enjoy the journey. Life is not so bad, in fact, if you glimpse at the little things, I bet it's pretty good. Do what you can to be better, but don't drag others down in order to make the grass greener on your side of the fence. And look at my baby...because he's so stinking cute.

18 comments:

Natalie Z said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you and your cute family. You are the best. Im excited for our sleepover and girls day out! Thanks for an amazing blog.
Nat.

Celia Fae said...

I loved this post, Anne Lee. You are so sweet and smart and good. I've been thinking about blogging lately too, and I think about when I first started and HAL was so sick. Now I know more people and sad things happen to them and I feel terrible and I want to quit reading because I hate feeling sad. Then I remember HAL and how it has been so wonderful to read about him and that I would have missed seeing his miracle if I didn't read about his sadness first and I feel better. The End.

Anonymous said...

I appreciate this post... very well put and very well thought out. If you bring this type of insight to all of your R.S. lessons you will be an amazing teacher.

As I was skimming back through you blog in an attempt to find out where you are right now....(Utah, somewhere, right?) I came across the post about partial birth abortions. I confess I didn't know anything about them, but now that I do I am completely with you when you say that anyone who supports this evil practice has a little bit of evil in them. Horrible!

And lastly, I am a huge fan of Maroon 5's sound, but like you, I have to know every word to every song.... and so I came to find out the dirty truth about their lyrics. Ah nuts! Just when the music gets good the lyrics get dirty.

Oh, P.S. were you able to get an invite from Emily yet?

Nortorious said...

I started blogging when HAL was in the NICU too. I think those of us who started up then feel cemented as part of your life -- we all really did pray for you and addictively check on you.
And now I read your blog to see pictures of you kissing things. I wish you'd do a whole kissing blog, ann leigh.

Jessica said...

I love this post. A friend of mine and I were just discussing this and I wish we could all do this. Just enjoy the journey and you never know, those rich people may be looking at us thinking they would love our lives...who knows.

P.S. I'm so glad you love you blog, I love looking at it. It's so happy. I will send you instructions on how to change it.

Jessica said...

P.S.S. I just tried the link and it didn't work. Our blog is jgtatkinson.blogspot.com. Sorry to post again.

Maddy Pie said...

i am in 7th grade! your little boy is SO CUTE!!!

Heather said...

(with fingers touching fingers and nodding slowly)

ah yes, I am so wise.

Just kidding. I'm glad you didn't mention when I told Abbie that she better knock it off or she will be looking out the window at all of her friends playing this summer because I'm not going to put up with her little girl drama. memmeemememememe (that's her trying not to cry)

heidiram said...

Should I go answer my doorbell or comment? I already know that it's my two year old and four year old that escaped out the garage. (They made a contraption . . . hand washing stool on top of wicker basket on top of camping chair . . . so they could be tall enough to reach the garage door opener . . .) O.K. doorbell stopped ringing . . . which means they are down the street to go to the park. I'll comment later . . . but I love love love your entry.

Stephanie said...

I love you. That's all.

Beck said...

very nice, Anne!

Hazen5 said...

Anne, When I met you, you were a cute, little 5th grader (R.J.'s age) that loved to read and write stories. I always thought you would some day become a "Writer". And now I see that you are, that was a great post!

Jessica said...

It is so nice to be able to look back and remember how it was so worrisome when he was in the hospital and that now...months later...he's doing so well. It's a good reminder about perspective.

And if you've learned in your 20s (and in Utah no less) the importance and safety and peace of living within your means, you've won one of the most important of life's battles, for sure.

Kirsten Krason said...

So insightful. I totally know what you mean. I feel bad when I feel like I will NEVER have a house. Like it's some dream that will never actually happen. But it is true that we need to count our blessings each day and realize how good we have it. And I think miracles happen all the time. Heavenly Father is always in control making things happen that we never thought were possible.

Anna said...

Amen to all of that Anne, and thank's for the insight.

Amanda Fetters said...

Awww yay! And I know what you mean about "So I've been thinking" thing. Whenever I say stuff like that, R invariably says, "Uh-oh."

Brandi Lyn said...

Anne, that was such a beautiful post. You are going to make such a wonderful Relief Society teacher. Reading about your litte boy and all the struggles you guys have been through, and seeing how strong you are and firm you both are is such a testimony builder for me. It really makes me count my many blessings.

You're so right, life is all about enjoying the journey. If you're not enjoying it and you're not making lemonade out of life's lemons, than you are missing OUT so much on the joy that comes through our much needed trials. You are so humble and yet so insightfully strong, i absolutely love reading about 'the days inside the life of Anne Lee'. You are an incredible person who is remarkable at writing...never stop!

Ashley Clark said...

He is so stinkin' cute.

Thanks for kindly reminding me to stop complaining. I DO have a lot to be grateful for.