My Most Recent Adventure

So. I wasn't going to blog this, because I didn't want it to be an awkward foray into imagining what I look like naked, BUT, given the funny adventure it's turned out to be, I thought I'd throw all caution to the wind. If you know me, you know as a Hazen girl, I've got boobs. You also know that I hate aforementioned body part nearly more than, oh, Mustard. And War. And People who drive with Dream Catchers in their cars. (Seriously, these people must be stopped.)

So, I decided to take advantage of the killer insurance Jason has through work, and I did something about them. More specifically, Dr. Cheng did something about them, surgically, at Intermountain Medical Center on Friday morning at roughly 7am.

I checked in and had a grand old time with my nurses before surgery. The anesthesiologist met with me, asked if I had any questions, and as soon as I said no, he slipped me something that he said would make me not especially care about anything in the world. The last thing I remember was laughing hysterically before everything went blank. 6 hours later, I was awake, and vaguely aware that something had happened to my pants. If you've never been under general anesthesia, do it. It's quite the experience.

The first thing I remember hearing was a nurse asking someone how to administer Potassium. "Should I hook it to a line, or push it?" If you don't understand precisely what this means, google it. Come to find out, they weren't even talking about me, but I made sure to inform them that I enjoyed the way my heart was beating, and would appreciate it if they didn't kill me via a bolus of Potassium.
There was a lot of drama that I had with the incompetent nurse that is for another post for another day, but after Jason had to leave to go get Hazen kicking and screaming from Heather's house (the kid needs a sibling), my friends Heidi and Amanda came to spend the night with me in the hospital. They were JUST what I needed as I was feeling awfully lonely and sad before they came, and laughter truly is the best medicine. I love those girls for spending time with me even though I was on A.LOT of drugs.
Don't mind me and my teeny tiny small eye. And O2. I was having a hard time keeping my sats up, but a little bit of Oxygen on the Canula did the trick.

Since coming home, the pain hasn't been bad at all, but I want to puke. All.the.Time. In fact, having had a C-Section makes the pain from this procedure seem like a walk in the park. I have to sleep in a throne of pillows, which makes the good 'ole Cal King seem quite a bit smaller, but Jason is a trooper. Hazen's been really good with things, although I'm sure he's very confused at why he and Mom can't wrestle like we used to.

So, next time you see me, it makes it a lot less awkward to just ask to see a profile shot instead of giving me the wandering eye to check me out. Remember, I've been trying to get people to look me in the eyes me whole life- 25 is never too late to start!