Not quite out of the woods....

So, I kind of feel like the honeymoon is over. Not with Jason and I, life is great for us (minus the fact that he had the stomach flu this week and almost died. But not really).

You know that Euphoric feeling when it feels like EVERYTHING falls into place, and life is perfect for a while? DING. Time's up. Hazen has been making SO MUCH progress in so many different areas, but as he gets a little bit older, we're realizing that he's not quite where he should be developmentally. DEFINITELY not where he should be as a 4 month old, but that's not a big deal, they adjust that to go with his prematurity.

He smiles and laughs when people are talking to him, but he has a REALLY hard time with eye-contact. He also is favoring the right side A LOT, and isn't doing some of the other stuff he should be. I feel so frustrated right now, because for some reason or another, I feel like there were about 40 million people I know that had babies at the same time as Hazen, and not all of them are the most sensitive. (Heather, I'm not talking about you!) If there is something that drives me nutty, it's a one-upper. If there is something that drives me absolutely CRAZY...not in a good way, it's a one-upper who compares my child when some of the problems he has might stem deeper than just being "a little behind". Don't you realize that every day since that horrible Monday about 3 months ago, I've worried about the long-term developmental delays my sweet baby might have? Don't you realize that bragging about how your baby is rolling over and almost standing, and then asking me, "So what does Hazen do" BOTHERS me? If you're going to ask such things, at least pretend to be excited when I tell you that he's over 12 lbs, and he goes crazy every time Jason or I walk in the room. Heaven forbid you be slightly amused when I tell you he'll pretty much hold his head up when I hold him on my lap. Oh, and don't you DARE tell me IT'S NOT FAIR that he sleeps through the night. Do you REALLY want to start talking fair? These are GIANT milestones for us. HUGE.

Hazen is going to start Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy on the 3rd of January. He already has a developmentalist who comes in once a month, but it's just not enough. Now, I get to begin to jump through hoops to get him to qualify for the Follow-Up clinic at the hospital. They said he wasn't small ENOUGH or sick ENOUGH to automatically be eligible, but you better believe I'm going to fight for my baby so he can get all the help he needs. With the Follow-Up clinic, he would meet with a Neonatologist, Neurologist, Developmentalist, Nurses, Drs, Dietitians, OTs, PTs, and some other people who will run some pretty extensive tests to see what they think. Dr. Lauret, our Pediatrician told me not to be shocked if they order another MRI in February.

So, we will enjoy the Holidays, and we will laugh and play with our baby, because we love him. But will I worry? Of course I will. And we'll wait. Because that's all we can really do.