Not quite out of the woods....

So, I kind of feel like the honeymoon is over. Not with Jason and I, life is great for us (minus the fact that he had the stomach flu this week and almost died. But not really).

You know that Euphoric feeling when it feels like EVERYTHING falls into place, and life is perfect for a while? DING. Time's up. Hazen has been making SO MUCH progress in so many different areas, but as he gets a little bit older, we're realizing that he's not quite where he should be developmentally. DEFINITELY not where he should be as a 4 month old, but that's not a big deal, they adjust that to go with his prematurity.

He smiles and laughs when people are talking to him, but he has a REALLY hard time with eye-contact. He also is favoring the right side A LOT, and isn't doing some of the other stuff he should be. I feel so frustrated right now, because for some reason or another, I feel like there were about 40 million people I know that had babies at the same time as Hazen, and not all of them are the most sensitive. (Heather, I'm not talking about you!) If there is something that drives me nutty, it's a one-upper. If there is something that drives me absolutely CRAZY...not in a good way, it's a one-upper who compares my child when some of the problems he has might stem deeper than just being "a little behind". Don't you realize that every day since that horrible Monday about 3 months ago, I've worried about the long-term developmental delays my sweet baby might have? Don't you realize that bragging about how your baby is rolling over and almost standing, and then asking me, "So what does Hazen do" BOTHERS me? If you're going to ask such things, at least pretend to be excited when I tell you that he's over 12 lbs, and he goes crazy every time Jason or I walk in the room. Heaven forbid you be slightly amused when I tell you he'll pretty much hold his head up when I hold him on my lap. Oh, and don't you DARE tell me IT'S NOT FAIR that he sleeps through the night. Do you REALLY want to start talking fair? These are GIANT milestones for us. HUGE.

Hazen is going to start Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy on the 3rd of January. He already has a developmentalist who comes in once a month, but it's just not enough. Now, I get to begin to jump through hoops to get him to qualify for the Follow-Up clinic at the hospital. They said he wasn't small ENOUGH or sick ENOUGH to automatically be eligible, but you better believe I'm going to fight for my baby so he can get all the help he needs. With the Follow-Up clinic, he would meet with a Neonatologist, Neurologist, Developmentalist, Nurses, Drs, Dietitians, OTs, PTs, and some other people who will run some pretty extensive tests to see what they think. Dr. Lauret, our Pediatrician told me not to be shocked if they order another MRI in February.

So, we will enjoy the Holidays, and we will laugh and play with our baby, because we love him. But will I worry? Of course I will. And we'll wait. Because that's all we can really do.

Reasons Why I Simply Cannot Post

1. I just got my Christmas cards, and now I need to send them. If you get one, you better act surprised at the letter. Mmkay?

2. I need to finish my homemade Christmas. Wait until after Christmas to see a picture. It's cute, I tell ya

3. I need to watch the Biggest Loser

4. I need to avoid my husband, who has the stomach flu, like a plague. While doing so, I must hope and pray me and the boy don't get sick, too.

5. I need to disinfect my house from said sicky hubby.

6. I need to do about 6 loads of laundry before we go to California

7. I need to ignore my baby who needs to go to bed and is crying in his crib.

Reasons Why I am Happy Today

1. I spend all day with this little stud.

2. Before bedtime, we listened to music from Kirsten's blog, and he looked at me the WHOLE time and laughed and smiled. Priceless.

3. I've been to the gym every day this week, and I feel amazing!

4. I get to eat the best Sushi ever in less than two weeks.

5. I have a Rockin' Hot Husband.

6. I talked a lot on the phone with old friends. Totally worth every minute.

7. My house smells like fish. Wait. That is NOT a reason I'm happy. In fact, stupid Pampered Chef, I blame you and your crap dish for the stench.

All in all, life is good. (BTW, HF, that doesn't mean that we haven't had enough trials for this year, and my stating that life is good means I need another one....)

I must be confident Pt 2

I am only posting these pictures because Celia says that in order to become a true blogger you must post bad pictures of yourself, and also, because every time I see these pictures I laugh because of how disgusting I look. PS, Thanks mom, for capturing my finest moment.

The Dr must have walked into the room and said, "Good Heavens, woman, you look like hell! We better cut this baby out of you, stat", then, for good measure he had his nurse give me 7 times the amount of morphine, because creatures this gross shouldn't be able to exist. Lucky for me, I look a little more like this:

Guess who's the best boy in town

I know a little boy who slept last night from 10:30 (late for him) until 9 am...without waking up ONCE! Needless to say, all parties involved are super happy today. Plus he's the cutest ever, so that's just an added bonus.

Dear World,

If you see me in the grocery store or (ACK) Walmart with my crying child, please do not give me crusties for taking such a small baby out in public. Furthermore, when you ask me how old he is, please don't pretend like you don't believe me when I say almost 4 months. I'm kinda getting sick of explaining the whole premie thing to strangers.

Sincerely,

The mother of a scrawny, but oh so cute baby

True story. Heather was actually a witness to 2 of the "How old is your baby? Oh my, he's SOOOOOO SMALL! I thought he was a newborn!!" comments I received today in Smith's. To further my agitation, my poor baby was screaming bloody murder because he's constipated from his dumb formula. She was not, however there for THIS conversation in the den of HELL, aka, Walmart.

Random Lady: That's pretty gutsy to take your newborn out in this cold.
Me(Albeit a totally unamused, and slightly sweating me, because he was stressing me out from all of the crusties I was getting from my screaming child): He's not a newborn.
RL: Oh surely he can't be older than just a week or two. Isn't he cold? Shouldn't you leave him at home.
PA(Pissed Anne): He's four months old. My husband works a lot. I need a prescription.
RL: NNNOOOOOOO. He CAN'T be four months old. HE'S TINY! LOOK AT HOW SMALL! And that Newborn cry!!!
RPA(Really Pissed Anne): He was 2 months premature. He was in the hospital for 2 months, and was really sick. He's now almost tripled in size, and he's very healthy. Thanks.

Stupid Random Lady then is left in the dust as I pick up the prescription and leave. Seriously??? Seriously? Yes. He's almost 4 months old, and is only 11 lbs, but he's grown so much, and has come so far, so for you, random people, to comment on what a shrimp he is, doesn't amuse me. Heather can comment, because I make fun of her fat baby all of the time,(but everyone knows that Max is the best because he's smiling like, 98% of the time)

I love my baby. And you better too.