Mama's Yearly Post

 Dear Hazen-boy

I can't believe it's that time again, so soon! It both shocks and horrifies me how rapidly time with you passes. I wish that I could push a button to make it stop, because just when I thought you couldn't be any more fun, you go and surprise me, and life with you just gets better. It never fails come August for your silly mom to wax a little more poetic, and find herself with tears in her eyes when thinking about you- but there will never be a day in my life when I am not awestruck with how blessed and lucky I am to have you.

Hazey, you are so smart. Not necessarily only in a scholastic way, but you are so wise. Your perception of people amazes me, and people always comment on how intuitive you are. Just last weekend, I got really sick with a horrific migraine. Daddy had to work, so it was just you and me. I was being quite the bump on the log, and as I apologized to you for not being able to be more fun, you came up to me, looked me in the eyes, and took my temperature with the back of your hand. You clicked your tongue and said, "Oh Mommy, you feel just a wittle bit warm. I wish I could make you better", then you kissed me on the forehead. No complaint over the fact that I basically asked you to feed and entertain yourself, but more concern over if I was ok. The other day, there was a HUGE spider in the shower. You immediately got your shoe, and said, "Don't worry Mom. I'll take care of it". Sometimes I'm not sure who's taking care of whom?

You are so incredibly flexible and understanding of my sometimes crazy work schedule. You make it known that you don't love having me gone, but also state that you understand that I have to "go take care of the sick peoples". There is absolutely nothing in this world better than walking through the door after a long shift and having you bolt into my arms in our "baby monkey hug". I love love love going on our weekly dates together. You crack me up how you know that date night means "cute shoes", and how you have to have your hair done. You are such a great conversationalist, and I absolutely beam knowing that I'm the luckiest person in the restaurant having you as my date.

Haz, I love you. I love you more than I will ever be able to express, and more than I will ever be worthy to give. Sometimes I feel like it was a little bit of a oversight on Heavenly Father's part to entrust YOU to ME, but I'll take it. You are my sun and my moon and my stars, and I love you more than I love myself. I know one day you'll read these entries and roll your eyes at your goofy mom who is more than a little obsessed with you, so you'll have to forgive me.

I can't wait to watch you to continue to grow, but, if it's all the same to you, would you please slow down?
Thank you for being my baby. Thank you for being my big boy. Thank you for being my best friend.

I love you.

Love,

Your best girl, AND your best Mom.

A Real Blog, not a Travelogue

So, I feel like lately, blogging has turned into such a chore. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one feeling this way, especially from other posts from people that I've read. I don't want to quit though, especially since I don't journal, and I don't scrapbook, so it seems like blogging and I are stuck with one another. I figure, though, that I might as well write one REAL post for the year. Get it over quickly, right? In a way, it will be an update, because I'm so stinking behind on my posting that by the time I get to stuff, life has completely changed!

Me: Well. Yes. Me. I've got a lot of stuff going on right now, but life is super good. Let's break it down, shall we?

Work: Work is good. I would definitely say that some of the luster that was there when I began has worn off. Not because I don't like the job, or want to work in some different type of unit, but moreso because I've had my eyes opened to some of the drama that inevitably occurs in the workplace. Recently, I was able to take my turn as being the "brunt" of all of the smack talk. The thing that really bothered me about this situation is that the main aspects that I was being ripped on for were totally unfounded! Now, don't get me wrong, I have PLENTY of faults, but it really chapped me that the things people chose to focus on were things that actually weren't true. That's annoying. Morale is low in my unit, and I think that one of the reasons is because we are able to save people that would otherwise be dead, but after they get past the "pretty much dead" phase, it's a slow recovery. This causes the patient and their family to basically be really sick of us, and the feeling becomes mutual, because we feel unappreciated. Woah is me, right? In good news, it's amazing to me to see how far I've come in the almost 10 months that I've worked there. Of course, there are still many situations that I'm totally uncomfortable with, because the patient is too sick, but patients that seriously scared me when I first started, I feel ok with. It's really refreshing and rewarding to be able to reflect that say, "Hey, I'm really good at what I do, and I'm only going to get better".

School: Yeah. I'm back in school. Apparently, I was smoking crack for the month of October, because I decided that not only was I going to go back and get my Bachelor's, but I was going to go full tilt and enroll in a Master's Program, as well. They're kind of wrapped into one, so technically I only have 2 classes left until I'm onto the Master's portion. I like this program, because I'm able to go at my own pace, so I started and slammed 8 classes out really quickly. Unfortunately, I'm stuck right now writing a paper about pressure ulcer prevention that is making me want to slit my wrists. Hopefully in the next week or two I can be done with that, and go on my merry way again. I'm going to be getting my Master's in Nursing Education, and I hope to be done in a year. After I finish, I plan on basically doing the exact same thing I'm doing now, but with more options that I can teach if I'd like to cut back on hours. If nothing else, being a clinical instructor seems like a pretty sweet gig, and I wouldn't mind looking into that. Who knows.

Personal: Well, the staggering weight loss of 2011 appears to have come to a halt. After being down 35 lbs, and being in the smallest size I've been in my entire life, I must say that the Holidays and the fact that we ate out more than one person should ever admit, I'm only down 29, and the smallest size is only happenin' with slightly looser shirts. :) I'm sick of feeling like crap though, so the past week or two has gotten me back on the wagon. Crossfit is going extremely well, and I've found myself able to do a lot of things I never thought I could. Pull ups being one of them. I'm getting a lot faster at those, but I still have a long ways to go. Always room for improvement, right? My CSA has been on hold for almost 2 months due to loss of crops, and I'm dying. I knew that I loved my Jacob's Cove, but I didn't quite realize that I have no clue how I'll ever live without it. It's slated to start again in the next few weeks though, so that should be fabulous. Church is good, I really like being back in this ward. There are so many great people. Jason and I are doing as well as we have in years. Man it feels nice to both be done with school (mostly), and working in professions that we slaved over to get to. We're able to spend more time together, and now that we actually make money like real people, we're able to do things together that we weren't able to afford previously. We've been working really hard to make a serious dent at our student debt, and I feel like we're doing a really good job with that. We still have a long way to go, but at least it feels do-able now. Next up, a house!

Jason: Jason passed the NCLEX, and, after almost 4 years, left his job at the Prison. I was sad to say goodbye to the amazing health benefits that we enjoyed, but I'm not sad to say goodbye to the negative environment that he was constantly around. He accepted a job making killer $ at Salt Lake Behavioral, where he works at a Psych nurse. While this is totally not his dream job, we figure that if you have to be at work, then making the most money possible is a good option. After we've paid off our debt, he'll probably re-evaluate what he wants to do long term. He's still volunteering with Sandy fire, and recently passed off a HAZMAT class and certification. He's also been working out a lot, and recently dislocated his finger playing church ball. You probably shouldn't even get me started about my feelings about church ball. Jason is a great dad, and he makes me laugh, so I can't complain. I'm not sure if he feels this way, but I feel like since he started at SLB, he's NEVER at work, so I love hanging out with him all of the time.

Hazen: Hazen is perfect. Ok, so he's not perfect, but I love that little boy more than words could ever say. He makes all of us so happy. He's in his second year of Preschool, and his teachers absolutely love and adore him. I am told on a regular basis what a wonderful little boy he is. Seeing how smart, and wonderful, and kind he is totally reaffirms basically everything about my life. I never thought that someone could be capable of bringing me so much joy. I'm currently trying to decide if I should send him to Kindergarten next year, or if I should hold him back. I'll keep you updated, of course.

I feel like that's pretty much all there is to it regarding what's going on with the Lee family. Things are good. Life is good. Hopefully I won't suck so badly at blogging in 2012, but, knowing how I roll, that's probably a lie.